Broken Connections…

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, “relationship” means “the way two or more people feel and behave towards each other”. I used to think a lot about what kind of relationship I have with people in my circle. Now, I am fully convinced that these are not genuine relationships. I am not talking about the love relationship because the concept of love is too far-fetched for me to understand, let alone have a ‘love relationship’ with anyone..! Friendships also fall under the ‘relationship’ umbrella. My question is if someone with whom you have a good relationship (or I would usually think of a ‘relationship’ as a ‘connection’) and they don’t reciprocate the same feelings towards you, would you still call it a relationship?

Let me explain! It’s natural at my age (I am 28 years old as I am writing this post) that people don’t usually discuss their personal life, like love interests, career choices, dreams, etc., with other people, no matter how close they are. So, I naturally understand if my ‘friends’ don’t know how I feel at any given time. However, when the ‘friends’ know my situation, especially when I am feeling the worst, I expect them to show some empathy or say a few words for reassurance. I am not the kind of person who craves affection and support from other people. I have been pretty much alone my whole life (at least till now…), and I don’t have that many connections with people. But I know the pain of being ignored and ending up without any help when I need the most. So I naturally help people, especially the so-called ‘friends’. Please make no mistake. They explicitly ask me to do what they are supposed to do. One small example is attending a meeting on behalf of another ‘friend’ because they are too busy to participate in it even though it’s their responsibility. I think you got the point I am making here. When I do these favours for them, I don’t expect anything back, and to my surprise, they say, ‘Thanks, bro! Don’t forget I am here when you need help.’ I would think, ‘Okay! I am not gonna ask you for any help.’ But unfortunately, the society I live in needs to connect with the people. Do you know what happens when these ‘friends’ get to know I might need help? They simply say, ‘Sorry! I am busy right now.’ This is the exact behaviour I am talking about. Would you still call them friends, or do you have a relationship with those people?

I don’t mind these things because, in my opinion, they don’t know the meaning of a relationship. But one thing really hurt me and made me write this. In a regular conversation with a ‘friend’, I said I was not well and visiting the doctor for medication. That person asked me ‘What problem do you have?’. I was really taken aback.. because I told them about my problem and this is not new and I have been feeling bad and sick for quite some time now and they knew about it. So I was really taken aback when they asked me the question ‘What problem do you have?’. I am like, ‘Yeah! This is how people are supposed to behave. They simply don’t care about the people they have relationships with!’ This sort of behaviour we often see from people when they do not see each other. Just like ‘out of sight and out of mind’. It happened almost two months ago. I didn’t bother to write anything about this, and now is a good time as any to write about this. I would like to answer the question I asked earlier: ‘If the people in a meaningful relationship don’t reciprocate the same feelings towards each other, then can that still be called a relationship?’ My answer is no… I think about this whole situation as ‘I am in a position where I could help them, and they don’t have manners or even a basic understanding of human relationships to ask me how I am doing.’

If you used to be my ‘friend’ and wondering why I was not in contact with you or texting you anymore, then please understand that I am no longer the person you knew. I have been good with you for a long time, and now I don’t have time to keep up with your BS.! Please don’t behave like this with anyone, and I am really hoping you won’t text me ever again. Thank you…